Emotions Aren’t Everything

So more and more I’m seeing negotiation trainers obsessing over emotions.

This is a mistake.

Yes there are emotionally charged negotiations…

Hostage crisis

Custody battles

Relationship breakdowns

But news flash, the best of the best, the elite lawyers, talent agents, procurement professionals, c-suite executives, they’re not sitting around making emotionally charged decision after emotionally charged decision.

Instead what they’re primarily doing is they’re looking at whether the deal makes sense.

Is this offer better than the one that I’ve received elsewhere? How is this deal valued relative to some objective standard? Etc.

And it’s not just me who thinks like this.

Brad Lee says one should “problem solve using logic”.

Jordan Belfort talks about the idea “needing to make sense” to someone.

Roger Fisher says “use principle and objective criteria” to persuade.

Hell, Aristotle, 2000 years ago, opens with “logos”.

So deal with the emotion, manage the emotion, but don’t fall into the trap of thinking that it’s everything.

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